Thursday, August 26, 2004

The Three Smells of Aix: Fresh Lavander, Fish, and Ass

Ok, for those of you who think that people go to France and gain a whole bunch of weight because of the eclairs, the cheese, and all the other various fattening foods... Well, you're wrong. I have been eating nothing but bread, cheese, and fresh fruit since I got here. Not to mention I must walk a minimum of three miles a day. I mean, seriously guys, the way of living is sooooo much healthier over here. Walk everywhere, eat fresh foods, and smoke like a chimney. I mean, really, what could be more healthy than that, eh? There is one thing that absolutely baffles me, though. I have this theory that the French don't drink. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you! All drinks are friggin' expensive, and nobody but tourists carry around bottles of water. There are no water fountains... there are many fountains, that some of the crazies drink out of, but no specific water fountains. It is also kind of hard to find bathrooms. Since everybody walks around all day, you'd think they'd be totally ok with people needing to pee every once and awhile. But, then again, they don't drink!! One last thing I must mention, if you do, in fact, choose to carry around a water bottle, you'd be hard-pressed to find a friggin' bottle of water that doesn't contain magnesium or calcium... Which, by the way, makes the water taste a bit like chemical ass.

Eh, voila! On to the housing situation... April and I have decided to room together, in order to save money. However, finding a cool place around here that doesn't cost an arm and a leg is a lot more difficult than that stupid study abroad guidebook said it was. Souhel, the leader/creator of Students in Aix (the student association I joined) helped April and I by showing us a really cool place. Souhel, by the way, is Aix's version of "the man." That guy has connections for everything. So, anyway, he showed us this kickass place, and we absolutely, hands down, would love to live there. The unfortunate thing is, an agency has a hold of it, and in order to get it, we basically have to sign over our first born child as a slave to the French government. I mean, I'm not kidding guys, I'm not going to go into detail or anything, but I friggin' hate French Housing Agencies. For those of you who know Odd Todd, think of the first cartoon he ever made, and how he felt about MCI. That's how I feel about the agency that has our dream apartment. So, we may not get the cool place, but we'll keep looking, and I'm sure we'll find something that will suffice. That place was cool, but hey, if it's not meant to be...it's not meant to be.

And now, the part you've all been waiting for... The French Men!! Ok, so like first let me say, you guys all know my life is a joke, right? Because, seriously, the ironic, weird, creepy situations just keep a-comin'! Souhel, "the man," is apparently very interested in dating me. I mean, it's fine, I guess, but it's just wierd. He's like one of the administrative staff here practically, so it's just strange to think he like, likes girls, ya know? He's totally nice, and he certainly has his benefits, but let me just say, I'm not looking to date anyone!! Let alone eccentric French dude. Dude's all up in my biznatch too...

For example, he's the guy who runs these internet labs that I am using to type this, and he's here, like, right now. All I gotta say is, what the truck. Last night, there was a cocktail party, and April and I, being staff of Students in Aix and all, showed up for a roarin' good time. What happened? Oh yeah, we showed up early and Souhel made us work. Nice. Anyway, it was still fun, and afterward, we went to a club to dance. They call them "boites" here, which translates into "boxes." (I don't know, don't ask me to explain...) So, I danced, had a jolly good time, talked with Souhel. He was telling me how he's fairly well-off, and he likes American girls, and he plans on going there next year, etc. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and when I said no, he asked what I like in a man. I just said I like my men to be tall. Then he went onto comparing my height to his...but since neither of us really new how to transfer feet into the metric system, he's 1.45 metres, and I'm 5'9". So, yeah. He told me he really likes me, and I just played it off. I just kind of smiled and said I'm kinda crazy, and giggled like any uncomfortable blonde would do. So, in conclusion, I'm just going play the translation error card. Even though I know exactly what he's trying to say...I'm just going to be like, "yeah, I like grapefruit too!"